My Second Birth Story
Although it seems odd to start with my second birth story instead of my first, the way this story took place, and the fact that it is the most recent in my memory, make it seem more significant. Nothing in this story went as planned, and that is often how birth stories start (and end).
On September 29th, 2020, I had my 39-week checkup with my midwives. Due to some prodromal labor I had been experiencing, I requested a cervical check, and was not altogether surprised to learn I was dilated to between 3-4cm. My prodromal labor had been going on for a couple of weeks at this point, and is ultimately what led me to question my timing for heading to the hospital. But, I digress. At this point, my midwife asked if I would like her to strip my membranes by doing a sweep. I was more than happy to oblige, although this can be a very personal choice, and not for everyone. She also gave me a recipe for midwives brew, and seemed somewhat disappointed when she said “If you take this brew, I am fairly certain you will go into labor tonight.” Her disappointment stemmed from the fact that she was not on call that night, and would therefore not be there for the birth. I laughed, as I felt at this point labor was still a ways off.
On my drive back home, which was about 40 minutes, I was exceedingly uncomfortable. I had been experiencing Braxton Hicks since around 16 weeks, but this felt more like a constant tightening of my belly, and it did not feel very good. I stopped for a quick bite, then headed home. Once I got home, I took a bath in hopes of relieving my muscles, and texted my husband (now ex-husband) the list of ingredients for the brew. At this point, the tightening had subsided, and I felt pretty normal.
When he arrived home a few hours later, I made the brew and decided to give it a whirl. This was around 5:30pm. Initially, I felt fine, but after about an hour I began to have the constant tightening in my belly that I had experienced after the sweep. It was very difficult to sit in my daughter’s rocking chair and do her bedtime story! After putting her to bed, it was around 8pm, and I relaxed draped over my birthing ball and watched some tv. I was having some very sporadic contractions at this point, but they were not painful, and I had been having prodromal labor contractions every evening for a couple of weeks now.
Around 10pm, things seemed to fizzle out, and my ex-husband decided he would get some sleep. I decided to sleep on the couch, as I was uncomfortable, and felt better laying at an angle. As soon as I attempted to get to sleep, I began to notice contractions once more. However, they were sporadic and still not painful. Throughout the evening and into the night, my midwife had been texting me to see how I was feeling. She asked if I took the midwive’s brew, and asked me to text her with any updates! Since I was already dilated a fair amount, she told me to go ahead and come in if my contractions reached 5 minutes apart, even if they weren’t painful, or if I felt I needed to.
Around 11pm, I noticed the contractions beginning to come a bit closer together. However, no pattern emerged. Some were 2 or 3 minutes apart, others 10. And although they were uncomfortable, they were not painful. They felt exactly as my prodromal labor had. Nonetheless, I began timing them on my phone, and pacing the house a bit. Around 12 midnight, when they didn’t seem to be growing in intensity, I decided to lay back down and try to rest.
As soon as I lay down, I felt a shift. Although I did not feel a gush like I did when my water broke during my first labor, I felt a small amount of wetness and more pressure. I went to the bathroom, and noticed a small amount of liquid coupled with a small amount of mucus and blood. I had already lost the majority of my mucus plug throughout the past two weeks, so there was not a ton.
Right after this, around 12:15am, while sitting on the toilet, I felt my first “real” contraction. This one hurt. I decided to put on a pad to see if I lost any more fluid, and wake my ex-husband to let him know what was going on. I was still in denial and wanted to wait for a bit longer to see if this was the real deal. Another painful contraction came about 2 minutes later. I told Zack that I would wait until 12:30am, and if they were still coming this close together, I would call my mom to come to stay with our daughter so we could head out.
Zack was very groggy and agreed, but 2 minutes later another contraction came fast and furious, and he said we should call her right away. At about 12:25am, I gave her a call, and thankfully she answered right away. She had her bag ready to go as we were all on edge waiting for this night, and she was able to make it to my house in 10 minutes. I was still somewhat in denial, although at this point I was having to stop and breathe through contractions.
We were gathering up our things, and taking our time, until my mom saw me experience a contraction. She told us we should leave immediately, and she was right. We finished loading our bags, and I remember looking at the clock as we pulled out of our driveway. It was 12:49am.
At this point, I texted the midwife to let her know we were on the way in. It’s about a 25/30 minutes drive to the hospital, and she said she would be waiting down in the ER for us when we arrived. This was still early Covid times, and I was supposed to go through the ER to get to triage on my own and be checked. Then, Zack would be allowed to come in once they admitted me. At this point, we were still joking and laughing, although when contractions hit, I had to breathe through them.
Our house is about 7 minutes from the freeway. When we left our house, my contractions were coming about every 2 minutes. By the time we reached the freeway entrance, they were coming every minute. I had a moment of wondering if we should have gone to the hospital right down the street from us. However, I wanted my midwife to be present at the birth, and she only delivered at Hurley Hospital in Flint, MI.
Once we got on the freeway, I was having to hold onto the handle inside the passenger door with each contraction. I would lift my bum off the seat with each contraction and breathe through them. After a few minutes, I began to panic, realizing how close I was to delivering. At this point, I was in transition, and things picked up.
I told Zack we needed to let the midwife know that I wasn’t sure if there would be time to go through triage. I attempted to call her, but I was so far into the throws of labor, I couldn’t focus enough to reach her contact in my phone and press dial. I instructed Zack to do so, and he put her on the car phone. He updated her on the situation, and she was trying to keep us calm. At this point, I began to feel pushy, and really started to panic. We were still about 10 minutes out from the hospital. I yelled to Zack that he needed to pull over as I thought I was about to birth our baby. My midwife heard me, and told him “Do not stop! Keep driving!” I think she may have also been in a bit of denial, or thinking I was being dramatic.
Zack kept driving, and really picked up the pace. We made it off the freeway, and were about 5 minutes from the hospital at this point. We ran 2 red lights (after looking both ways) and raced to the hospital. Once we hit the street the hospital is on, my body started pushing. I yelled “I’m pushing!” and my midwife instructed me to try to stop. My body wouldn’t listen, and continued. I pulled down my pants at this point, and felt inside. I could feel the top of the baby’s head.
We raced up in front of the ER, and outside was my midwife and a nurse waiting for us. I have never felt more relieved to see someone! She ran to the car and opened my door. I told her I could feel the baby’s head. She took a quick glance and said she didn’t see anything. She was yelling for a gurney and asked Zack to pull forward as he had parked in front of a stone pillar, and she couldn’t get in the car very well.
As soon as he moved the car she opened the door fully and I yelled that his head was coming. Sure enough, the fetal ejection reflex took over, and his head came out in one push. At this point, I was sort of clawing my way into the back seat, but still sitting upright in the front passenger seat of our van. I asked if his head had come out, and she and Zack both said yes. I felt the urge to push come again, and this time I pushed with it. In one push, the rest of his body was born.
The midwife caught him, and I instantly heard him cry, which gave me comfort. We did not know the gender, and she asked if I wanted to look and see. This thought was so far from my head, but I said sure, and sure enough, I saw he was a boy as I suspected.
She said “Here you go- here’s your little baby” and handed him to me. I was in utter shock. At this point, the nurse asked to call a time for the birth. It was 1:21am. My active labor had lasted only 1 hour. I am fairly certain he made his debut a couple of minutes sooner, around 1:18am.
At this point, a gurney was finally brought out to the car. I climbed out of the car holding my son, and onto the gurney. The entire experience was so surreal, and I kept asking everyone if that really happened! I was wheeled into the ER, and back to what I assume is the operating room. Once in the ER room, the on-call doctor and a number of other nurses and medical staff surrounded me, unsure of exactly what the situation was. Immediately, the doctor tried to remove my baby from my arms. I yelled that he was still connected to me and I hadn’t delivered the placenta yet!
Thankfully, my midwife was also present, and she was an amazing advocate. I was given scissors to cut the cord, as Zack was still moving our car, and immediately after doing so, the doctor again tried to take the baby from my arms. My midwife stopped him, saying that she was the midwife, and the baby needed to stay with me. The doctor said that HE was the doctor, and the baby needed to be taken for observation. My midwife held her ground and said that the baby was showing no signs of distress and needed to stay with his mom. The doctor finally relented, and I was able to continue holding my son as we waited for the placenta to be born.
After the placenta arrived, I was wheeled up to delivery. I had sustained a first-degree tear, and the delivery room was equipped to stitch me up. This was honestly the most painful part of the birth, and took about 30 minutes, which seemed like a long time! I was able to hold and breastfeed while this took place, which did distract me a bit. We also decided on a name, and chose Arlen James. Arlen is a Gaelic name, and means oathkeeper.
Afterward, my son was weighed and measured, and we were wheeled to the recovery room. At this point, it was around 4am, and I was ready to take a shower and get cleaned off. Around 5am, I climbed into bed in my adult diaper and fresh jammies, and attempted to get a few hours of rest. Of course, hormones were racing, and I mostly just wanted to stare at my brand-new baby! I did manage to rest on and off until about 8am, and awoke to a beautiful sunrise and a still fall morning. I was in sheer bliss, and unaware of the difficulties to come that day and in the weeks, months and years ahead. (See part 2)
